You are not to blame for what I've become, You
who abandoned me, wounding me, forever
Traveling from border to borderline between comfortable numbness and stark despair
Alone in my life have I become ...
Traveling from border to borderline between comfortable numbness and stark despair
Alone in my life have I become ...
Distant and disconnected from the mother who could not love you, condemned you to feel unlovable, to find love, but not joy, to give love, but not keep it: keeping your distance instead you kept it vague, until you faltered and fled, abandoning us all.
A little girl alone with her witch mother,
-UNIMAGINABLE!-
Her anguished childhood, lost, to the terror of war, Sharing her, sorrow and shame I see her enduring what I could not have survived,
But you, a frail little girl were resilient, it took her time to break you...
The little girl I never knew, who I am helpless to help, comprehended, or forget.
The little girl I never knew, who I am helpless to help, comprehended, or forget.
Who haunts me, following me, She leads teaching me, that
Love is not what you give, it's who you lose,
keeping only no one to lose I follow her,
losing her, losing her,
I am lost
Loving now only those who won't let me in I keep them out.
Keeping only what was never mine I have lost no one,
losing no one, living alone.
1 comments:
Dear Anthony,
I'm touched by your pain and longing; your mind repeating the refrain of your suffering. Each day we're born anew; it's your mind dragging the load of the past which is disappeared and gone and gone forever; the present arives pristine and uncontaminated by anything of the past; you are a free and beautiful Human Being; forget the past; ignore your mind and it's claims; see the present, this very moment, and rejoyce! You are you, always you; celebrate you; delight in you; all judgements come from the past; drop judgement and celebrate and delight in ANTHONY; he's survived and he's here; Love Him!
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